From the Center 12-7-16

Published 12:47 pm Wednesday, December 7, 2016

And just like that…the elf is back on the shelf.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea. We have had an elf since the first year he arrived on store shelves, but I think things have gotten a little out of hand.

The Elf on a Shelf was created to help parents keep their children well-behaved during the holidays.

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The elf comes with a book, describing the his daily tasks. He flies back to the North Pole while all the children are sleeping and reports the day’s activities to Santa.

When he flies back before the children awake, he is in a different spot than the day before.

Our elf’s name is Mistletoe. He has brought much joy to our house, especially in the mornings when there is a race to see where he is.

You cannot touch the elf, or he will lose his magic. We had a crisis about eight years ago when ours fell off the top of a dresser. Poor thing stayed on the floor until we left and when we arrived back home, he was magically back up where he started.

Here’s the thing. The elf now has wardrobes to purchase (not sure how this works since you can’t touch him), activity books, and even a girlfriend.

He has been mass marketed.

We didn’t fall for it. Or maybe, the Cochran girls just like simplicity. Or originality.

The thing that I really don’t get is, there are thousands of photos on the internet where the elf has been mischievous.

The little elves seem to be competing and it’s now a “thing” to see whose elf is the most creative when he arrives back in the morning.

I just don’t get it. Have we now turned bad behavior into something “cool” by way of an elf? The very elf that is supposed to be reporting bad conduct back to Santa? Isn’t the elf defeating the purpose or actually exacerbating the original problem?

I might be a tad upset at Misteltoe if I wake up in the morning and he has squirted out all the toothpaste in the sink…unless he leaves a 5 dollar bill by my bed, of course.

Thankfully, about the craziest thing Misteltoe has done in all these years, is hang upside down from the dining room chandelier.

I assume Mistletoe will be around my house forever, like Santa, no matter how old the children are.

I do hope he continues to be a non-competitive little elf, and is content with the outfit he arrived in.

I can say this for certain…he will never have a girlfriend while he lives at our house. No more estrogen is needed at 2406 Columbia Avenue!